Today was a wonderful day spent with lots of family. Since my family opens our gifts on Christmas Eve, I slept in this morning and then got up and "attempted" to figure out my new expresso maker. Let me tell you, it's a lot harder than it looks. It took me six tries and a couple of burned fingers before I even got one that was halfway decent. Hmm.. maybe I should stick with Starbucks?
One of my new year's resolutions is to start posting more pictures on here, so maybe I will start that tomorrow. Haha.
I haven't posted in a while because I haven't felt like I've had much to post about! But over the last week one AMAZING thing did happen...
Greenlee Elizabeth Colclasure entered the world on Thursday, December 17th, at 6:54 p.m. She was 8lbs exactly, and 19 3/4 in. She is PERFECT.
Summer was in labor for over 24 hrs and then had a C-section. They didn't give her an epidural until her 23rd hour of labor, but she never complained once. She is so happy and is going to be a wonderful mommy. I'm so proud of her. Life's a dance you learn as you go...
It seems like just yesterday, we were teenagers talking about the types of families we wanted to have and now we are old enough to start our own. At Summer's baby shower we were asked to write letters to Greenlee, I didn't feel like I had adequate time to write mine then so I hurriedly wrote something down, If I had more time here is what I would say:
Your mother was my very best friend in middle school, Junior high, and High school. We cheered together, vacationed together, competed in pageants together, and just experienced everything life had to offer. You can always ask me for stories about your mom and I will never hold anything back. I knew I would always have a good time when I was with her. We went through some incredibly difficult experiences together, but they in turn made us stronger women. This is my wish to you, that you will experience all life has to offer, the good and the bad, because all of these experiences have something to teach you.
I hope you...
Try everything once (everything that is LEGAL, at least)
Sneak out of your house at least once, but don't go too far because believe it or not your mom will know you have snuck out, even if you try your hardest not to make a sound.
Study hard and don't skip classes except for once a semester to go on an adventure with your friends, you'll learn more those days than you could have sitting in class.
ALWAYS wear your seat belt, and make your friends wear theirs too.
If you're going to drink, don't drive. Call your mother. I promise she won't lecture you until the next day.
Do what your heart desires, even if it scares you.
Apply to more than one college.
Never fear rejection.
Spend your money on stupid things, like new clothes, because one day you'll have bills to pay and you'll wish you had more clothes.
Don't worry about the popular crowd, I promise they never go far.
Enjoy compliments, but don't accept them at face value.
If you rely on popular culture's definition of love, you will live in a state of constant disappointment.
Plan just enough that you don't forget major commitments, everything else leave up to God.
Always return your shopping cart.
Wear bikinis while you can.
Don't spend too much time in a tanning bed.
The thing about makeup is you want to look like you aren't wearing much.
If you marry your first love, you will miss out on the unique pain of a broken heart. This type of pain allows you to love and appreciate that one you do marry so much more.
You shouldn't go from being someones daughter, to being someones wife, to being someones mother without being someone yourself. Learn who you truly are first.
Men, as a rule, are not good mind readers. The sooner you learn this the better.
Help your mom while she cooks, if anything at least talk to her.
ALWAYS give clothes away, NEVER sell them to a consignment shop.
Always choose friends over boys (the only exception for this is for your husband, but really he should never make you choose anyway)
Always be the first to say "I'm sorry" and never go to bed angry.
Cherish your innocence.
Wait to date, preferably until you are 16 but I'll leave that up to your parents.
Yes, the sun will still rise tomorrow morning even if there are storm clouds all night.
Most importantly, Love God above everything else. Seek Him every moment of the day. Grow a faith that is REAL to you. You can always trust in God and He will always be there when it seems no one else is. When you seek Him, you will find Him. When you find Him, we will give you the desires of your heart. He has a plan for you that is good, and noble, and perfect. You are His princess and He loves you more than anyone ever will. His love for you will never fade no matter what you do. Don't turn from God, He will never turn from you.
As of yesterday at 11:00 I am officially done with my fall semester. What a relief. This semester has been, by far, one of the most challenging, yet amazing semesters of my college career. I feel like I have really been stretched and in the end, have come out a changed person. A little of that might have been because of the classes I took, but I feel a lot of it has to do with how much my life has changed. Who I am has changed. For the better. Yes, much better. I feel like for once, I am finally getting a grasp on who I am as a person, and what I want out of life. Ok, maybe I'm not exactly sure where I'll be next year this time, but I know the ride will have been well worth it. God has an amazing way of bringing you to your knees, but it is during those moments that such sweet truth pours into your heart and soul. I have learned more about God this semester than I have in a long time. Never again will I sacrifice my relationship with Him for things of this world. I can't wait to see what God has in store. I know it won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
As for winter break, I look forward to hanging out with my family, spending much needed time with old friends, meeting Miss Greenlee Elizabeth Colclasure ( who is due to arrive tomorrow!), and doing lots of reading. Oh and there is still that one online class I have to finish. :( But for the most part I hope to rest and relax and let God speak to me through the calm before the storm of next semester.
It is so comforting to know that Christ has already conquered my world. He has great plans for me, and He knows where I'm going even when I don't. It's nice to know that I don't have to have even the next day planned out, I just need to listen for His guidance and follow where He leads.
My favorite time of the year is here. It's Christmas time! I just LOVE this season. Everything about it makes me smile, the smell, good food (told ya I'm a food junkie), wonderful times with friends, peppermint white chocolate mochas, Christmas music.... the list goes on. Everything is just wonderful this time of year!
I'm super excited because Tress is going on the Tour of Homes with me in a few weeks. I'm really excited to see what the Fayetteville one is like--I'm sure it's WAY better than the Cabot Tour of Homes. I like to just walk around the homes and Dream about what my perfect fantasy house would be like. Haha, I'm a nerd I know!
I'm very much looking forward to Thanksgiving break. Even though I have a million things to do on my 3 days off, it's always nice to do those things from the comfort of my parent's home in Cabot.
"When you think about it, the most memorable moments of your life.... Were you alone?"
Sitting on the front of John Mark's boat. The sun setting, as he's teaching all of us girls how to drive a boat "because that's an important thing to know how to do", Kenny Chesney's "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems" was playing in the background. We were in the summer before our 10th grade year and there really were no problems....
Cheering for countless girls basketball games my 10th grade year. I think we wanted those girls to win state about as badly as they wanted to. I remember being heartbroken for them when that bad call was made on Brittany in the final moments of the game, handing the title over to the other team.
Many afternoons spent with Christi in Mr. D's chemical closet, contemplating rather we should run away and leave graduating behind just so we wouldn't have to grow up.
I remember many walks up the hill to John Mark's house in the early hours of the morning as we "snuck out" of Christi's house to go hang out with the boys.
Mtn. Dews were called "Dewskies"
Every weekend I wouldn't come home untill Sunday night and spent every single hour of them with my 4 best friends: Loni, Christi, Ashley, and Summer.
Kaleb getting arrested for stripping in the bowling alley parking lot.
Me trying to punch Summer. It didn't go so well.
The night Ashley thought it would be wise to hit on Christi's little brother.
Having to drive Whitney's car home on graduation night, only problem was it was a stick shift and I had no clue how to drive one.
Bawling my eyes out the night before we all left for college.
Calling Christi every single day of my first semester of college, wondering why on earth we ever chose to go to seperate schools.
How excited we were when I finally got up to Fayetteville and we were roommates.
Many many nights spent in JohnMark and Shawn's room simply because Christi and I didn't want to go back to Reid....
How excited we were when we convinced Ashley to come up to Fayetteville.
I remember John Mark doing a strip tease in the upper hallway of our duplex.
I remember many nights when Christi and I would say "ok we are really going to go to sleep now" only to still be up hours later discussing life.
I remember learning how to shoot my first gun on Jack Tyler's farm.
I remember never eating in any of the campus cafeterias.
I remember going to one restaurant on Dickson every single week because Christi and I thought the waiter was hot.
I remember the first night I spent in my "own" house.
I'm pretty sure I have WAY too many memories... but I LOVE life!
To begin, I went to a baby shower this weekend for one of my best friends from high school. She is currently 8 months pregnant, and looks gorgeous. It probably has something to do with the fact that I think all pregnant women are cute. It's crazy to think that I am already at this point in my life... While I definitaley can't wait to be a wife and mom, part of me still feels way young. But I'm sure Summer will be a great mommy to Miss Greenlee Elizabeth, and I'm so proud of how she has handled some difficult circumstances.
If you know my sister, you would know that for the majority of her teenage-adult years she has been sick. We have never been able to find a cause, but she has the health of about an 80 year old woman. She has probably the worst immune system ever. But here lately she has just been getting sicker and sicker. A few weeks ago she had strep throat. Then bronchitis. Now she has pneumonia. It scares me because my sister IS my other half. I don't like her being sick all the time :(
Speaking of my sister though, some how she always dates guys who completely spoil her and its not fair. Just today, her boyfriend, Nathan, surprised her with midnight showing tickets to New Moon. He's always doing things like that for her. It makes me happy (and a tad jealous :) )
It seems like every day I am reminded of something else I "can't live without" in my life. Ok... that sounds a little snobby. I'm not talking about material things here (well maybe a few), but primarily "life" things. And some things that I want in a husband I guess :)
Here are a few just in case you're interested:
* I want to teach a little kids Sunday School class with my Husband some day.
* I want to get flowers more than just on my birthday, valentine's day, and anniversary. I want flowers just randomly on some Wednesday afternoon, for no reason at all other than the fact that He thinks I deserve flowers. (haha ok so this one probably sounds a little snobbish)
* I want to stop being so dang tired all the time.
* I want to start tanning/working out again, but that would require me to have a little more energy than I do now.
I won't overflow you with my wants because the list could get rather long.... ha
And here's my rant of the evening:
I'm re-reading a book called Captivating. It's really really wonderful and I would recommend any girl to read it (and any guy who wants to dig deeper into his girl's world). It really makes sense out of a lot of things that women struggle with.
Anyone could tell you that a key difference between men and women is relationships. Women are all about having relationships and men really couldn't care less. Women NEED to have a sense of belonging, someone to share their secrets with, someone to laugh with, cry with and just be with. This is why women constantly surround themselves with friends, and are incredibly unsatisfied is they have not a friend to call their own. Women NEED Friends! But the frustrating thing is, no matter how close of friends you have, as a woman you still crave for those relationships to be deeper. Even if you just walked away from an amazing conversation, you instantly need more. I just learned that God made us this way. He made us so deeply need relationships, and companionship. And He made it that we would always have that longing for "more" until we turn to Him, the only thing that can fill that longing. Now guys need friends too, but they don't have the same intense desire for companionship that we do. Things make so much more sense to me now!
Ok enough of that, I have to shadow early in the morning so I should probably be heading to bed soon :)
Yesterday, a good friend of mine got me to listening to a sermon on the Internet. Now, I have NEVER enjoyed just listening to sermons in my spare time. But this guy, Mark Driscoll, is incredible! He speaks right on my level and I can't get enough. I learn so much through every one of his lessons.
Here's what I learned today:
God doesn't choose us to go through bad situations. I always thought He did. I thought He chose certain people to experience certain hardships, but this isn't true. Wow, this totally changes my perspective on some things. We experience hardships because of SIN. Our sin, or someone else's. God hurts for us, weeps for us, grieves for us. This is not how He intended for us to live. But, as a Christian, we can be confident that God uses every situation for our sanctification. We, through inflictions, are sanctified. How comforting to know that God works through every situation for the good of His people. I love this.
If you wanna check him out go to www.marshillchurch.org
I have a confession to make. Sometimes I have to remind myself to breath. I catch myself holding my breath a lot. I guess its pretty symbolic to how my life has been lately. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells waiting for the next bad thing to happen. God must think I can handle a lot, because He's thrown a lot at me this past year. But I have a secret. I'm not that strong. In fact, the only strength I have is what God has given me. I have been mad and angry, frustrated, and sad. Very sad. But I have been completely humbled. I have been learning that God will take anything in your life that takes presence over Him. That's the hardest thing to do though because anything can become something that you seek to comfort you rather than turning to Him. I keep thinking about words from a song, "A time of jubilee is coming" It's definitely coming. I'm ready.
"She got the call today, one out of the gray. And when the smoke cleared it took her breath away. She said she didn't believe, it could happen to me. I guess we are all one phone call away from our knees. "
Constantly throughout my life I had always said I just wish I could see the end picture. Who will I marry? What will my kids look like? Will I live a life that is pleasing to the Lord? Throughout the past year though I realize why God doesn't let us see the end result. This is life.
I think I have grown up more in this past year, then years combined. Amazing how, in order to grow up, you must get down on your knees. I have been brought to my knees so many times this past year. I have been broken in every since of the word: physically, mentally, spiritually.
Broken so that God could rebuild me. I wouldn't take it back. The pain, the endless tears, the suffering. Everything is worth this. This complete joy. This peace.
Peace that no matter what, my Savior has my best interest at heart. Peace that while trials will come again, I will never face them alone. Peace that who I am is just enough.
I am just enough. My faults, my failures, my insecurities. God made me this way. And He thinks its beautiful. A beautiful love. A beautiful life. This is what I want.
Perfect beauty that only comes from complete devotion to the creator of all things good, and holy, and wonderful. Beauty isn't a curse, it breaks my heart that so many girls live this way. As women, we were meant to be beautiful. Completely breathtaking. Eve was breathtaking. We were created in His image. Of course we are supposed to be beautiful! How fitting is it then, that just as Eve was banished from the most beautiful place in the world, our beauty is what brings us the most heart ache. We try to cover it, try to use it to persuade, ache over it, want it, compare it. The list goes on.
Each week I think life is going to slow down, and it doesn't. Not one little bit. I like to be busy now, but really I'm not sure how much busier I can get! I am constantly running, running, running. I know I have WAY too many things I am committed to, but I absolutely love everything that I do! Oh well... Thanksgiving is just right around the corner :)
Recap of the weekend:
I got to go home last Thursday evening in the midst of Hurricane Arkansas. Let me tell you, I am so sick of rain. I especially do not like driving in it. At one point in my drive, I was in tears. I mean, I'm not a good driver already and add some rain... well you get the picture. It ended up taking me about 3 and 1/2 hours to get home but I finally made it!
One of my favorite things about going home (besides seeing my family of course) is my bath tub. I am a girl who absolutely LOVES baths. I mean really loves them. My bathtub at home is heavenly. It's very very deep with a never ending supply of hot water because I have my own hot water tank for my side of the house. It's just wonderful and always makes me so happy!
On Friday night, I decided to be brave and venture out with my sisters for a night in Little Rock. The evening began with dinner at YaYa's. I love fine dining. I feel a little guilty for saying that, but its true. Everything about it makes me happy. I just love being able to dress up and feel totally like a girl. And there's something about having to make reservations that always makes it that much more special. It's like the guy thought ahead. Haha. So we went to Yaya's and the food was incredible. It's making my stomach growl right now just thinking about it. Then we went to a few different bars to hang out, karaoke, and have a few drinks. I have decided Little Rock is my town. I just love the night life. Everything is very laid back and chill. Not so much that way up here in Fayetteville when you are packed like sardines!
On Saturday, My mom and I went to visit my Cousin, Julie, who just had a baby boy on October 19th named Stayton Blaine. He is the cutest thing ever and I instantly fell in love with him. I forgot how tiny newborn babies are. So precious. I loved it!
Sunday, I went to a new church that my parents have been attending called Cornerstone. My aunt and uncle go there also. I really liked it. Then, we had Sunday lunch at my house and everyone came over. It was really great, and my sister introduced everyone to Nathan (a big step for her!).
Finally Sunday evening, my parents and I sat down and discussed my future :) Evidently there is some reason why God doesn't want me to graduate in the spring so I'm just gonna go with it and postpone until the fall of 2010. Hopefully** this means I'll have a little bit more free time next semester. Then... the future is open! Who know's where God will lead me next!
I figured while I had about 15 minutes of spare time I would take a second and write a new post on here since it's been a while :)
I don't feel like forming complete sentences and paragraphs so here are some fragments of my crazy busy life!
My life has been absolutely crazy here lately. But God is good even in the craziness! I am realizing more and more that God is in control and even at the end of a long, hard day His love is still all I need.
I absolutely hate pumping gas and inevitably that always leads to me waiting until the last possible minute to get gas. I drove around all last night with my gas tank open. This is why I shouldn't get gas.
I had a stomach virus a couple of weeks ago. Now my roommate has one. I like to think I do a good job at cleaning our apartment... Evidently not.
Well it looks like I might not be graduating in May after all.
I'm so tired I have a hard time thinking coherently.
I am going home this weekend and couldn't be more excited. This trip is coming at the perfect time.
For those of you who like a good push, you should read crazy love. It has really been challenging me.
I went to New Heights this last Sunday and really really loved it. I wish I could make it every Sunday....
I baked something in the oven this morning and didn't burn it. Success!
I love love love photography. I'm really horrible at it though. Someday I want to take lessons. Until then, I will just enjoy the pictures that other people take. Here are some I am currently loving...
Don't you just hate those tests where you study your butt off knowing that the test is still going to be impossibly hard? Yea, I had one of those today. It really sucked. I'm just glad it's over with. I'll be so glad when this class is over at the end of the semester. I love the class, I just hate the tests.
On another note, I am really excited for tomorrow because I am going to start my shadowing at Elkins High School. I'm looking forward to being in a classroom and seeing how the teacher does things. I am loving my teaching classes that I have right now which further proves to me that teaching is definitly the career choice for me!
Well I am so happy that fall is finally here! Since it's my favorite season, I figured I'd post some pictures of Arkansas in fall. Beautiful!
Well today was one of my orthopedic appointments. I always get a little nervous when I go in for an appointment because I am always fearful that something is going to be wrong with my leg. My worries subsided when Dr. Pleiman (who is wonderful btw) told me everything looks great on my xrays and that all my hardware in my leg looks good too. He then asked me about pain and I explained to him that my leg gets really stiff easily and that it is still difficult to walk long distances and I don't feel 100% back to normal. He encouraged me to think about having all of the plates and screws that are in my leg removed. He said that by removing them I will have a lot more mobility in my leg and it will just make me feel much better. He said there's no hurry, just whenever, if I decide to go ahead with the surgery. After talking to my mom, I think we are leaning towards going ahead and having the surgery over Christmas so I will have Christmas break to recuperate, and then will feel much better next semester. So here we go surgery round 3!
It's so easy to get caught up in my own life and forget how ridiculously blessed I am. My life is not easy, by any means, but God has blessed me in so many ways and I forget that all of the time! It's easy to get consumed in my own problems and forget that there are a hundreds of people who are put in way more difficult situations that I am. I don't always understand God's plan, but I know that He does things for a reason.
Right now, I am having such a difficult time understanding why God takes people out of our lives. I know He has a purpose for everything, but it's hard to explain that to someone who is hurting. OR when I'm hurting...
Ok enough of that.
I am so so soooo happy that it's finally fall! The weather is absolutely gorgeous and I have so loved getting to put out all my fall decorations :)
This is a short post today, I need to get ready to go love on some little ones!
Mistakes... Life is made of them. We learn from them. We grow from them. We cry from them. We are constantly reminded of them. But one thing: We don't have to live with them.
I am so thankful that my heavenly Father loves me regardless of how many times I have messed up. I don't seem to learn very easily, and I have to prove things to myself. Also, at times I would say that I can be very self destructing. But the best thing is that God loves me no matter what I do. And one day... my prince will love me just the same.
1. I love candles. Take that, I love expensive candles. They are such an indulgence to me. I always feel a little guilty when I light one, knowing that it's just money burning away. But oh how I love the way they make my house smell!
2. I'm horrible at baking. I can't even get canned cinnamon rolls right, they always burn! It's probably because I don't believe in using timers when cooking. Ask me to cook anything else and I'm your girl, but not a cookie, brownie, or even cupcake. And oh how I love sweets too....
3. I'm naturally a very messy person. I love having a clean home, but it rarely stays that way. I like to think I'm messy because I have so many other wonderful things on my mind.... but really it's probably just because I'm a mess!
4. I love bubble baths. LOVE them! If I could take one every single night I would. Nothing is better!
5. I love to study but I hate taking tests. Enough said.
6. I'm obsessed with my new Bible that has commentary and cross references it in. It's so wonderful, and pretty!
7. One of the top things I want to do in life is meet Karen Kingsbury, my FAVORITE author.
8. I want a goldendoodle really really badly. I always look at pictures of them on the internet. It will be a girl and I will name her Lola.
9. I sleep smack dab in the middle of the bed with at least four pillows surrounding me.
10. I love reading about other people's lives and hearing other people's stories. Everyone has so much to teach!
I feel so thankful to have the incredible friends that I have. Truly, they are my strength. It's amazing how magnificent God truly is. I hate that He had to bring me to my knees to see that, but I'm so glad He did.
An AMAZING let me tell you, AMAZING woman of God is disciplining me this semester and I am so excited. She has so much knowledge, and has experiencedbasically the exact same thing I am going through right now. God is so good. I really admire her and look up to her. So we are starting a book called "Crazy Love". Have any of y'all read it?? What did you think? Also, she is teaching me how to study the bible inductively. I am so excited! I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to things like that, but who cares?? God loves me. Ha ha
On another note, I am so excited for this weekend because my parents, my sister, and I are taking a mini vacation. I can't wait! It will be really nice to just get away for a couple of days...
Well that's all I have for now. Off to school I go!
If anyone knows me, they know that I am a total planner and control freak. I have had my whole life planned from the time I was 5 years old, and anytime those plans change, it really rocks my world.
I am very resistantly learning that God wants me to learn to depend on Him for my future. Wow, such a hard concept for me. Looking back on it, I am realizing that for the past year He has been trying to grab the reins out of my hands. I have held on tightly though! So He allowed my leg to be broken. Did I use that as a learning lesson? Nope. I kept right on my own path after my own plans.
Lately God has brought some incredibly difficult circumstances in my life. Let me tell you, I am STILL trying to control God. I try to put Him in a box and take Him out when I feel like it. This is not want God desires from us.
As of today, I have decided to attempt to put my life completely in my Savior's hands. Don't ask me my future plans because I have no idea what they are. Maybe, I'll go to graduate school. Maybe not. Maybe I'll become a teacher. Maybe not. Maybe I'll go to China. Who's knows! It's so thrilling, yet unbelievably scary at the same time. I can take great comfort in knowing that God really does have my BEST interest at heart.
It is well known that I am an extremely emotional person. I can cry at the drop of a hat. I like to think that I have extreme sympathy for others who are in difficult situations and this is why I cry so easily.
At dinner tonight with a girl friend, we began discussing how God has purpose in everything. I began to tell her a story I had recently read about family who had a baby knowing it would soon die after birth. It broke my heart to imagine the grief those parents must have felt, but God truly had a purpose even in that little baby's short life.
Stephanie then told me the story about the blind man in the bible. How, God has a purpose for that blind man from the time he was a little boy. God's miracles were shown through that blind man. He had a purpose for him. If his parents had of decided they didn't want him just because he was disabled, we would have never had the great story and miracle, and a wonderful song to add :)
Then Stephanie told me to look at the video 99 Balloons on youtube. This is a must see, it is amazing at the strength of this young couple. God truly does have a purpose for EVERY life.
Brad gets home from Cozumel today!!! Then back off to camp tomorrow! Our summers are so busy I am surprised we have managed to see each other at all. I am So, so, SO really for some normalcy again. I mean we have been apart from each other for the past eight months! That is not the way I had the last year planned, but oh well, you manage what you have to do I guess. I am proud that we have managed to make it through everything. Most couples wouldn't have survived everything we have been through this past year, that has to say something!
On a different note, I am so proud that I have officialy learned to cook on my George Forman without burning. Large thanks to Kristin! Before, I would never cook on it because every single time my chicken turned out dry and burnt! Now its perfect and juicy! Just wonderful! Brad will be so impressed.... haha! One bad thing about cooking when he's not here though, is cleaning. Typically, I cook and Brad cleans. But when he's not here to eat I have to clean too :( I don't like that part. Like right now, I am waiting until the last possible second to bring my plate to the sink because I know that means that I have to clean everything up. Blah!
I have such a busy week at school this week. Bad thing about taking Spanish in Summer school is that the last week is FULL of tests! I'm so ready to be done, for a few weeks at least!
Well I better start studying before I see Brad! Have a wonderful Sunday :)
So I have been on somewhat of a workout kick. Now that I can actually work out again, I am trying to get back into the routine of going regularly. Most times, Kristin and I go together. Today, though, she had to study so I decided to venture off to the gym by myself. I am trying to build back up my length of my cardio workout. I can't last as long as I used to any more. Hah. Today, I decided I would try running. Not such a good idea...you see, evidently you need leg strength to run. My poor little leg just isn't up to the challenge just yet. I think I'll stick with the elliptical and walking for now.
I have decided that I am WAY too emotional for my own good. I can seriously cry at the drop of a hat. One of my tasks at work is to look through the "Children's Ministry" magazines and find articles that I think the women I work for would like. Great task for me since I LOVE magazines! So today I am reading through the magazines when I come across an article about this family who's unborn child was diagnosed with a fatal disease. The mother had to give birth to her, knowing that she would only live for a couple of hours after being born. Sooo sad. I started crying right there in the office, good thing I was the only one there. I don't even know what I would do if I was ever put in that situation. It would require an incredible faith that's for sure.
My mom and I have had several conversations about faith and being able to deal with incredible situations that you would have thought you would never have the strength for. It brings a quote to my mind, "If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it". It really IS true. Humans have an incredible ability to handle whatever situations they are faced with, you have no other option. For instance, during the worst of my pain with my leg, I never once thought I can't handle this pain anymore. I just handled it because I had to, there was never any other choice. It brings me a lot of confidence now, knowing that no matter what difficulties I may face in life, God will always meet me there and help me through it. Nothing is too BIG for our God. NOTHING!
I figured I would post while I am waiting to go into PT. I want to begin by saying that I am loving Beth Moore's blog right now. I have this need to know what other people's lives are like, and I just love reading her blog everyday. It's incredibly encouraging.
It's really unfair that right now while it is gloomy and depressing in Fayetteville, AR my wonderful boyfriend is in Cozumel, Mexico soaking up the sun. Not fair I tell you! This has been the world's longest week. I am so ready for Sunday to get here so I can see Brad, do his laundry :), and send him on his way for his last week of camp! Horray!!! This long Summer is almost over
Although I have not particularly enjoyed being apart from Brad for so long, I can see God's purpose in all of it. Isn't it nice when you can see WHY God does things?
- I have become more independent. Let's just say that I used to not be the most independent person in the world, and while I am sure to return to some of my old ways once Brad is back in town (who likes pumping their own gas?) I have also grown a lot and am more assure of myself and my abilities. I have also restored so amazing friendships!
-Speaking of friendships, I have been blessed with the greatest girl friends this summer and have had some amazing conversations and just fun times with them! I am also so glad that I have had the chance to grow even closer to hopefully my future "sisters".
-Quiet times in the mornings have become a necessity. I used to always be envious of girls who could wake up early in the morning to spend some quality time with the Lord. Now I am one of those girls! I can definitely tell a difference in my day when it starts with God!
- I have been able to walk away from some other relationships that were present in my life that were not really that good for me.
- I have a job that I absolutely love!! And work with some wonderful women! That's an answered prayer!
So it's been a LONG time since I have posted! Lets just say I got back into the swing of things pretty quick and my summer has been incredibly B-U-S-Y! I began the summer by moving into my new apartment at the Links. I love love love it! It is so cute and I love living out here with so many friends just a walk down the road. Not to mention, I'm a lot closer to Brad now which is always good :) I took 6 hours of Summer classes first session, and now I am in another 6 hours this session. This year is going to be really tough, but I'm graduating in MAY!!! I couldn't be more excited! I wasn't real thrilled about the whole idea of having to graduate a semester late, so many conversations and a little change in majors, and now I only have a year left and will "hopefully" start my masters program this next summer. I can't believe how fast these past years have gone by! So scary that soon I will no longer be considered a "college student". I finally got off of my crutches Mid-June! It was a great day!! I am still in Physical Therapy 2 days a week and am slowly getting better and more capable of doing things by myself. Walking is hard work! haha. I just had another doctor's appointment last week and he said that everything looks good but he wants me in therapy for another 3 months. Looks like my fall semester just got a little bit busier. As the Summer is winding down, I am so happy that Brad only has 2 weeks left of camp. Now don't get me wrong, I am so glad he went to camp as a counselor this summer, but I miss him so much when he is gone! I am also ready to have my man back at home to do "man things" for me. I told him the other day I already had him a list going... haha He was real thrilled about that. I am doing a Bible study right now called "Me, Myself and Lies" .. Seriously every girl should do this study. I am learning so much from it! Well, I'm gonna go now, I have some spanish flash cards to make!
Well, Brad has been gone for a full four days now and let me just say I feel like he has been gone a month! Seriously, I miss him so much. I hate, hate, hate not being able to talk to him or text it. It is the worst thing in the world. After next week though, he will be able to call me on his breaks and he will have Saturdays off so that will be good. I keep telling myself it will get easier. I just hope it does.
I've started summer school. It's so nice to have something to do in the mornings again, but Spanish is kicking my butt! I wish I had of taken it my Freshman year instead of waiting until my Senior year. I don't remember anything I learned in high school! I think I'm starting to catch on, but it is still really really hard!
Steph and I are finally moved into our new apartment! YAY! I love it so much! It's the perfect apartment. Perfect layout and everything! My room is really cute too. Plus, almost all of my friends live out here! I'm loving it!!! Can't wait to get up to the pool to lay out :)
It's been a while since I have posted! I am officialy BACK IN FAYETTEVILLE!!! Woohoo!!! It has been a LONG six months being in Cabot, but I did have some quality time with my parents :) It was a little sad leaving yesterday because I know my mom worries so much about me being up here all by myself and crippled!
Last night, Brad, Jon, Kristin and I all went to the demolition derby. I had never been before. The cars just run into each other! I didn't think I would like it, but I actually did! It's pretty fun just seeing lots of cars demolish each other. There are some REDNECK people that go to those things! I definitely saw my share of mullets... gross. After that, much to Brad's enjoyment, we went to Chili's since it was the only restaurant open at 11 pm.
Today was Church and lunch and I am waiting on Brad to get home from reffing so we can go to buy him some new Cowboy boots. YAY!
Today is Mother's Day! Everyone should go give their mom a hug :) My sisters and I cooked my mom lunch today when she got home from church. It was a nice surprise for her to not have to cook for lunch. We also made a really good strawberry cake. For the longest time strawberry cake was the only kind of cake Shannon would ever eat, so we have like a million recipes for strawberry cakes. Well fast forward many years and now I am dating a man who LOVES strawberry cake. Have I ever made him one? No, I always forget he likes them and me I am more of a chocolate girl. But I promised I would make him one before he leaves for camp. Lets hope I remember!
Tomorrow is the big day! My four month checkup at my doctor. I am very excited and somewhat anxious. I am just so ready to get to start walking again, but at the same time I know that it's gonna take a lot of patience and pain before I will be able to just run around everywhere! Still, I am hoping my doctor says "no more crutches". Wouldn't that be amazing?!
Now I am moving on to a topic that has been driving me absolutely crazy. Jon & Kate Plus 8. I really hope Jon didn't cheat on Kate, but if he did I think Kate is handling everything with class and I really just wish people would leave her alone. The blogs that some people write and comment on about Kate are just mean and hurtful. Personally, I think all of these people are jealous of her. I hope they can get things straightened up and Jon can grow up and learn to be a man. He shouldn't put himself in compromising situations in the first place.
I went to my uncle's wedding yesterday and it was gorgeous. Amy (his wife) looked fabulous! The reception was at the Peabody, and it was the nicest reception I have been at. The drinks were strong, and the food delicious :) Champagne, however, doesn't have so great of a taste after a while of toasting. hah!
Well I've got a busy day ahead of me, but I hope you all have a lovely Sunday :)
It's that time of year again...Swimsuit Season!!! So I have been swimsuit shopping and bought a new one today. Now, I have been lucky enough that I have NEVER needed to go on a diet. Ever. But not anymore :( 5 months of sitting on a couch does not do a body good! I am so ashamed but this is the worst shape my body has ever been in... it's extremely sad. So now I am going on a diet major! I REFUSE to step into my swimsuit until I have lost at least 10 lbs. Of course it's really hard to lose weight when you can't do all the cardio that is needed to lose that weight :( But my lovely mother said she would get me a personal trainer, so that he can show me how to work out without putting extra stress on my hurt leg. I am also not eating ANY MORE SUGAR. I have a huge sweet tooth, but back in my pageant days I didn't eat any sugar except for my sweet tea of course. So I know it's very possible! So wish me luck!!! My diet starts....NOW!
I officially have purchased Summer Leigh's wedding shower invites!!! YAY! I was totally stressing about those because I know that I need to get started on them. They aren't the ones I was originally thinking about because those ended up being a little pricey. Instead, I found an invitation kit at Target and you print what you want them to say and then put the invitations together. They are SO cute, they have little bows on them and everything :) Now if I can just get her to sit down with me to make up an invite list... hmm...
I have always wanted to be the type of person that uses coupons. I know this is really strange and Corny, but I just find that it is my duty before I become someones wife to know how to save money in the grocery store, etc. In my efforts to learn how to be frugal, I have come across some wonderful blogs for frugal moms. No I'm not a mom, but I would like to learn how not to spend $100 every time I go to the grocery store. Ridiculous! I am learning that clipping coupons is like a game! Always exciting to save money!
I also have an obsession for cookbooks. I LOVE to cook and I love cooking for people. Especially for Brad :) So when my mom and I were at Barnes & Noble I couldn't resist, I had to buy some new cook books. In one of them, every meal is $7 or less. This is so exciting! There's nothing I hate worse than when me and Brad decided we are going to cook at home one night in order to "save" money and then the grocery bill ends up being more expensive than a meal out! As much as I like cooking at home, NOTHING beats going out to eat with Brad. Nothing. I love it. I have told him that if we ever get married, we will still have to go out to eat at least once a week. I just enjoy having him all to myself and eating some good food :) Plus, no dishes! That's always good, even though Brad will always clean up when I cook. What a good boyfriend I have!
Well now I am off to make up an invite list for the shower! Have a great night!
Today, for the most part, was an un-eventful day. My mom is home with me all week so I'm not sure whether this is a good thing or bad thing. Haha, for the most part I think it's a good thing! I found out today that I have an interview for a job this summer. This job would be the perfect job for me. My interview isn't for another couple of weeks, so keep your fingers crossed!
If Kris Allen gets into the top 3 this week, then he gets to make a hometown visit! This would be so exciting and means he gets to do a concert!!!! AHH!!! I'm going to be voting like crazy Tuesday night!
My oldest sister's birthday is today. She is 27 years old now. Wow! That sounds soooo old! lol. Just think, she is 3 years away from being 30. Wow, that is crazy!
I don't really have that much going on this week, but I am hoping to be able to make it up to the school for some observation hours. I started tutoring a high school boy last week and I was really anxious about it. I wasn't sure if I really knew enough Chemistry to tutor him. But it went so well! I had forgotten how simple high school chemistry really is. I'm so happy! Now I have full confidence in my teaching abilities! Well this is all I have for now!
Yesterday I went to Fayetteville to have some much needed R & R with Brad. Ok so I didn't need the R & R, that was more for him, but I definitely needed some time with my man! I understand the whole "distance makes the heart grow fonder thing", but I also believe that distance makes things in a relationship a tad bit more difficult. I'm just ready for us to have a couple of "normal" weeks together before he leaves to go to camp.
I move into my new apartment in less than a month and I am beginning to realize all the things that I need to buy that I haven't gotten yet. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and low on cash. Haha.
Yesterday Brad and I went to On the Border where I ordered my first alcoholic beverage in a restaurant. Fun! I ordered a Strawberry Margarita. At first I didn't like the taste of the tequila in it, but then after a while I realized I couldn't taste the tequila anymore. Hmmm... Let's just say I could have definitely gotten drunk if I wasn't eating while I was drinking it. Brad was laughing at me getting tipsy off of one drink.
I was thinking about weddings today, seeing how a lot of my friends are engaged or soon to be engaged. Everyone wants to rush to the altar to get married, and gets caught up in the excitement of planning a wedding but what happens after the wedding?? I mean of course you have a honeymoon, and setting up house, but then you are married. Forever. Sometimes I think girls forget this. I think they get more excited about the fact that someone wants to marry them, than the idea that marriage is a lifelong commitment. If you truly love each other then you will end up with that person forever anyways right? So why rush it? Why not wait until the timing is perfect. I just don't want to get married at a young age and then look back on my life when I am 40 and realize that there was so much more I should have experienced rather than rushing to say "I do". Just a thought. I don't think everyone is wrong who gets married young, I just think some couples should probably wait and see if they are truly meant for each other or just together because it is comfortable.
I am very ready to be able to walk again. It really bothers me to have to go from being very independent to being dependant on someone to even bring me my lunch. It really bothers me. This whole accident has really gotten me thinking about how precious life truly is. In an instant your life can dramatically change. You should never take any moment for granted.
Isn't amazing how two days can be so perfectly opposite from each other. I seriously crack myself at times of how emotional and over dramatic I can be. Today was a perfect day, for the most part. It started with coffee at Steph's parent's house. Her little baby brother was over there. I think he is possibly the cutest toddler in the world. He makes all the cute baby noises and faces and is always busy! They also have an adorable new miniature Australian Shepard Puppy. He is precious! Then I went and had lunch with Clayton. I hadn't seen him in at least over a year and it was great to get to catch up with him. I forgot how comforting it can be when in the presence of good friends. Isn't it amazing how fast time flys? If you're not careful you can let a whole year pass without having a conversation with someone who used to be a close friend.
I am watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians right now. Seriously, this show cracks me up. The things the sisters on here do to their mom reminds me so much of my sisters and our mom. It's just such a funny show.
So my busy day ended with me being incredibly tired and exhausted. I guess I'm just not ready to be going non-stop yet. So instead of dinner out with my parents tonight, I stayed home and they went to dinner. Oh well, looks like an early bedtime for me :)
Why is it when you are hurting that love songs seem to play constantly on the radio? I also never knew how many love songs I have on my ipod. It's ridiculous and incredibly annoying. But Taylor Swift has some really good lyrics. I thought this one was so perfect:
Say you're sorry that face of an angel breaks out just when you want it to.
And I pace back and forth because all this time because I honestly believed in you.
Holding on the days drag on,
Stupid girl I should have known
I'm not a princess,
This ain't a fairytale.
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you and you let me down.
Now it's too late for you and your white horse,
To come around.
Maybe I'm naive I got lost in your eyes,
I never really had a chance.
I had so many dreams about you and me,
Now I know.
I'm not a princess this ain't a fairytale,
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet, lead her up the stairwell.
This ain't Hollywood this is a small town
I was a dreamer before you and you let me down.
Now it's too late for you and your white horse,
To come around.
There you on your knees
Begging for forgiveness
Begging for me
Just like I always wanted
But I'm so sorry
I'm not your princess,
This ain't our fairytale,
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well.
This is a big world,
That was a small town,
Now it's too late for you and your white horse to catch me now.
I am doing another post because I saw this quote on a friend on mine's blog and thought it was just so perfect.
"God, that was strange to see you again, introduced by a friend of a friend - smiled and said yes I think we've met before... i'll write you a postcard, i'll send you the news from the house down the road, from real love. Live though this and you won't look back...There's one thing I want to say so I'll be brave - you were what I wanted, I gave what I gave. I'm not sorry I met you, I'm not sorry it's over, I'm not sorry there's nothing to say. I'm not sorry there's nothing to save."
Let me just say that I feel incredibly overwhelmed that so many people are getting married right now. And it really bothers me that since Brad and I have been dating for almost 2 years everyone expects us to be getting engaged soon. Even when I tell them we are not, they still don't believe me or think something is seriously wrong with us. Is there anything wrong with wanting to be established in life before we decide to tie the knot? Come on, I wanna be able to go on a NICE honeymoon! I guess this is what I get for living in the South.
On to better things, I went by a printing place to get Summer's shower invitations printed. They told me that the invitations would cost $60.00 for only 20 invitations. Hello! Don't think so, I will be going to a different printing place. Why so expensive? It's just paper!
Brad is having a super busy, super stressful week with finals and projects. I hate it when he has weeks like these because that means I go on the back burner :( Oh well, school is way more important than me right now!
So I seriously have had these 2 online classes since March and have not gotten very far on them at all. First of all, I don't know why anyone expected me to take Arkansas History online. I hate history enough, I am not going to be super productive about doing it on my own time. Hopefully I will get an urge to be uber productive and get them done sometime before I start summer school, but as of right now it doesn't look like that's happening.
I went tanning yesterday, for 6 minutes. I got burned. Seriously? I was only in there 6 minutes! This is what I get for having LOVELY fair skin. Have I told y'all how wonderful it is to be able to drive myself places? Because it is WONDERFUL!
Today was my first day to drive again!! Let me tell you, it was WONDERFUL! I began by driving around my metropolis of a neighborhood. Seriously, I had not realized how much they have built up the back of Greystone. It's HUGE!!! I think over half of Cabot must live in Greystone now, there are so many houses! There were a lot of beautiful houses in the back too. Brad and I drive around a lot and just look at houses, he lets me dream :) Haha. So after I drove around my neighborhood I decided to venture to Sonic. I missed happy hour by 4 minutes and couldn't convince myself to buy a drink for double the price then what I would have gotten it at happy hour for so I didn't get anything. Now this is really strange of me b/c normally I really would care. Then I went and tanned. So tanning is quite an adventure for me because it takes me a little while to get undressed and everything. So here I am undressed and laying on the tanning bed and I try to push the button to make it start. It doesn't start. Then I realize that the lady forgot to put the minutes on the bed. So I then preceded to get dressed again, and go tell her she forgot to put the minutes on my bed. haha. My tanning experience turned out to be a long excursion!
Right now I am waiting on my mom to get home so we can eat dinner and watch American Idol. I can't wait to see Kris Allen preform tonight. Such a cutie!
Christi sent me this facebook post and it seriously made me laugh and be reminiscent all at the same time. So I copied it on here so everyone could read it :)
dear jennifer, it's finals weeks and normally you're hear to freak out too, but alas, you are not this time. so if anyone asks, this is what i wish.. 1. that the weird chemical closet in d's room would still be a safe haven where we could figure stuff out 2. that our problems would be so small that we could sort them out in a closet 3. that ice cream didn't have calories. i really feel like this would help my finals week stress level 4. that our parents didn't expect us to be adults and it would be completely acceptable to lay by the pool and eat french fries and beer catsup from the clubhouse 5. that french fries and beer catsup didnt have calories 6. that rolling people's houses was ok to do at 20. I also feel like this could relieve some stress 7. that our friends would stop getting married, getting big internships, ect. i'm starting to feel like a slacker. 8. that a batch of cookies could still boost my grade in world civ. world civ..seriously, who the hell cares about history
9. that matters of the heart could be solved by sitting in our bedroom floor with junk food. 10. it seems i've looped back around to wishing junk food didn't have calories, so i think that means I'm done.
I thought I would put a picture of Tressa in today's post because I am SO proud of her! As you know she won Miss Arkansas-International, but she worked so so hard for this title. Proof that hard work and dedication do pay off! She will be going to Chicago this summer to compete for the title of Miss International. I wish I could be there to watch her!
Well the semester and winding down and this is both good and bad. Good because it means that soon I will be in Fayetteville and summer school will start! Bad because that also means that Brad leaves for camp soon. I'm really excited for him to go because he loves camp so much, but I'm going to miss him so much :) Of course, it will be better because I will get to see him every Saturday now, instead of every other weekend.
I can't believe Kristin and Jon are actually engaged. It is soo weird to think that we are of the age now where our friends are getting married. How does time fly so fast? It seems like just yesterday I was graduating from High School and now I am about to be a Senior in college!
For my education practicum, I have to have 60 hours of job shadowing experience. So this week, I am going to go shadow Mr. D for a few hours. This should be fun! I also have to think of a chemistry project to do with high school kids for my Organic class. If ya'll think of anything let me know! I'm thinking about something like independent learning or something. You know where you pick a topic and conduct your own experiment in that topic. Well this is all I have for now!
My mom and I went and saw 17 again today. SO good! Definitely worth going to see if you haven't because Zac Efron is such a cutie! I told Brad today that I was allowed to have a crush on Zac since he has a major crush on Miley (never mind the fact that she is totally illegal for him. hah!) I also went and got some adorable flip flops, a white and black pair! I'm so glad that the flip flops with the backs on them are in style again this year because that's the only kind I can wear! Mom and I then went to Texas Roadhouse. YUM! I seriously ate like 4 rolls because their Cinnamon butter is to die for. Love it! I also went and tanned for my first time today. I was trying not to because I don't want it to mess up my lovely scar, but I couldn't take it anymore. I'm practically translucent. So I bought the highest SPF I could find, which amazingly enough is now 100+ and put it on my scar. I know that seems like an oxymoron, but oh well! I also covered it with a towel, so hopefully it won't get messed up :) The rest of the day I am going to paint my nails and work on some school/scholarship stuff. Glorious! Hope you all are having a lovely Sunday :)