Life

The only thing I know that I want out of life is to truly make a difference in someone else's life.  I want to make such an impact on someone that their life would have not been the same if they never met me, more importantly, my Lord.  The problem is... my desire to make a difference often gets clouded with thoughts of my own comfort, my security.  I'm constantly in conflict with my own desires for my life and what I know God's desires are for me.  

As little girls, we grow up thinking that after college you get married to Prince Charming, buy a house with a white picket fence, have children and live happily ever after.  Thank goodness, God never sticks to the stereotypes, I never liked picket fences in the first place.  What if it doesn't go in that order?  What if, after college you choose to move halfway across the world and Prince Charming doesn't show up when you think he should?  What if, after marrying the man of your dreams you decide to finally have a family only to find out that you are unable to have children, what then?  This is why God tells us not to follow our own plans, to simply trust in Him because He has plans for us.  

So no, my life isn't going according to the way I always planned it.  I'm not dating anyone, engaged, or planning a wedding.  In fact, those aren't even my desires right now.  I've realized that life is so much better simply relying on God to determine my next step.  Life is happening in those unexpected moments when you decide to drive halfway across the country on a whim's notice, when you're standing in the check-out line at Walmart and you see an old friend, when you're holding your best friend's precious new baby.  Life happens when you have cried so much that you have no more tears left.  It's when the man who you absolutely hated for breaking your best friend's heart is the one who makes her happier than she's ever been.  It's in the mundane and in the unexpected. It's in forgiveness, it's in compassion, and it's in grace. Life happens some random Tuesday morning when you literaly see everything you have flashing before your eyes, when you hear your Dad on the other end terrified of loosing his baby girl.  It's in these moments that you realize, it's not about you afterall.  It's all about Him, giving Him glory, showing His love.  

So... if His plans for you aren't as you expected, it's ok.  It just means they're better and more beautiful.  Trust me, I'm living proof.