Let Me Hold You Longer

Well Hello! I just had one of the most incredible weekends/end of the week last week. My heart fills so full it is about to burst! I know I say it all the time but God is soooo good, the best thing about our circumstances is that we are GUARANTEED a happy ending! Isn't that great? Weeping may last for the night, but JOY comes in the morning and let me tell you my JOYS have been overflowing. God has just been so good here lately, and doing things I never thought possible. Never underestimate the power of our God because we serve a MIGHTY God. Nothing is impossible with Him. I am amazing at how much God loves me and how well He knows my heart. I am also amazed at how much He is changing my heart.

I have such a huge heart for people now that I didn't have before. I just want to love on people and hear their stories. Everyone has a story, and each one is so incredible and has so much to teach us! I am constantly thinking about people as I pass strangers on the streets, in school etc. I wonder what has shaped their lives? Do they know how much God truly loves them, regardless of what they have done? Do they know that life is so much better than what the world has to offer us?

I am starting to think of a country half a world away. This would definitely come as a shock to most because I have NEVER wanted to do any type of missions that takes me away for long periods of time. I've never wanted to leave the comforts of my home. I am so surprised at how God has created this stirring in my heart. I'm not sure where it will lead to, but if He calls, I'm beginning to be willing.

I can't wait to be a teacher and have the opportunity to make a difference in so many teenager's lives! I love these kids! They are so easily influenced and I want to influence them in the right direction. I can't wait until I have my own classroom.

And as I think of all these things I can't help but think of my Mom and how hard is must be for her to slowly let go and let me go out on my own. How hard it will be when I have children of my own and have to slowly release my grip on them. This poem from Karen Kingsbury sums it up perfectly:

Let Me Hold You Longer

Long ago you came to me,

a miracle of firsts,

First smiles and teeth and baby steps,

a sunbeam on the burst.

But one day you will move away

and leave to me your past

And I will be left thinking of

a lifetime of your lasts…

The last time that I held a bottle

to your baby lips

The last time that I lifted you

and held you on my hip.

The last night when you woke up crying,

needing to be walked,

When last you crawled up with your blanket,

wanting to be rocked.

The last time when you ran to me,

still small enough to hold.

The last time that you said you’d marry

me when you grew old.

Precious, simple moments and

bright flashes from your past-

Would I have held on longer if

I’d known they were your last?

Our last adventure to the park,

your final midday nap,

The last time when you wore your favorite

faded baseball cap.

Your last few hours of kindergarten,

those last few days of first grade,

Your last at bat in Little League,

last colored picture made.

I never said good-bye to all

your yesterdays long passed.

So what about tomorrow-

will I recognize your lasts?

The last time that you catch a frog

in that old backyard pond.

The last time that you run barefoot

across our fresh-cut lawn.

Silly, scattered images

will represent your past.

I keep on taking pictures,

never quite sure of your lasts…

The last time that I comb your hair

or stop a pillow fight.

The last time that I pray with you

and tuck you in at night.

The last time when we cuddle

with a book, just me and you

The last time you jump in our bed

and sleep between us two.

The last piano lesson,

last vacation to the lake.

Your last few weeks of middle school,

last soccer goal you make.

I look ahead and dream of days

that haven’t come to pass.

But as I do, I sometimes miss

today’s sweet, precious lasts…

The last time that I help you with

a math or spelling test.

The last time when I shout that yes,

your room is still a mess.

The last time that you need me for

a ride from here to there.

The last time that you spend the night

with your old tattered bear.

My life keeps moving faster,

stealing precious days that pass,

I want to hold on longer-

want to recognize your lasts…

The last time that you need my help

with details of a dance.

The last time that you ask me for

advice about romance.

The last time that you talk to me

about your hopes and dreams.

The last time that you wear a jersey

for your high school team.

I’ve watched you grow and barely noticed

seasons as they pass.

If I could freeze the hands of time,

I’d hold on to your lasts.

For come some bright fall morning,

you’ll be going far away.

College life will beckon

in a brilliant sort of way.

One last hug, one last good-bye,

one quick and hurried kiss.

One last time to understand

just how much you’ll be missed.

I’ll watch you leave and think how fast

our time together passed.

Let me hold on longer, God,

to every precious last.