Here we go again... Surgery #3

My surgery is three days away. While I tell everyone that I'm not dreading it, and that it will be a very simple procedure with little recovery time, to tell the truth. I'm really scared. My accident was over a year ago and it's amazing how time can dull any memory of pain. But sometimes, if I'm laying in bed I can remember. The excruciating pain those first several months. The sadness. The loneliness. It all comes back. I'm so thankful God has brought me through that dark valley and into the sun again, but Satan knows where to get me at my weakest point. My first surgery, happened so fast that I didn't really have time to be scared. I got hurt at about 10:30 that morning and was in surgery by 10 p.m that night. I remember crying once when they told me I was going to have to have an external-fixator (my worst fear) but even then they were whisking me away to enter the operation room. The external device was so painful, that I was incredibly ready for my second surgery. But even then, that morning, it was hard to get me out of my bed to have to go to the hospital. Both of those surgeries I never had another option. They were my only choice if I was to ever walk again. This one though, was my choice. I could have left the bone fragment in and just been limited for the rest of my life, but I'm so ready to be normal again. I'm ready to run again. I'm ready to wear heels again. So I guess I'm scared that I've made this decision to have surgery, and what if something goes wrong? What if my recovery takes longer than expected and here I am smack dab in the middle of my last semester of my Senior year. I hate anesthesia too, I always have the worst side effects of it, and they always have a problem keeping me asleep during surgery. Yet, with all of my fears, I have to give everything to God. He is so much bigger than this surgery and He already knows the outcome. He is good and holy and perfect, He brought me this far. So come on surgery. I'm ready!