I must admit that I am terrified about what the future holds. I know that my Lord has pre-determined all my steps and it is my prayer that I will not place one single toe outside of that line, but I am terrified over what is to come. I have a confession: I always thought that when I was at this stage of my life I would be in a relationship with someone, close to being engaged. That is not what God has for me, and while I am so thankful that He has called me back to Him, I am so scared to do it all alone. Now, I know I won't really be alone. I have a wonderful family who are on pins and needles wanting me to come back to Central AR. I have beautiful friends, who will be there no matter which part of the state I choose to spend the next year in. But sometimes I do long for companionship. Just the feeling of wanting to spend 24hrs a day with one person. I know that God has someone out there for me, I just want him to come. I'm not very patient. But God is shaping my heart in this time. I am learning what it is like to trust completely in my Savior, to bring every need before Him. It's a constant battle between me and Satan. He tries to feed my head with lies, feelings of sadness, he fills my eyes with tears; but, I know that my Lord always prevails. Nothing right now is easy, but I look to the future with a smile because I know that God has big plans in store for me. Plans that no one but me could accomplish. I can't wait!
Posted by Jen at 8:50 AM