Consider me Employed

This will be my new home away from home.

Honestly I don't know why I haven't posted about this sooner, but I have am now a fully employed high school teacher!  

It is no secret that I have wanted to move closer to home for some time now, that being the case, I did not apply to any schools in NWA when I was putting out my initial applications back in March.  I had my eye set on a position at my hometown high school, and was in talks about the job.  I was looking forward to being closer to home, but still had a few hesitations in my heart.  

A couple of weeks later, I learned the position at my hometown high school was to be put off for another year.   So I started looking at other options and praying for the best school district for me.

Soon after, a position opened up at the top high school in our state.  It is known for being incredibly hard to get a job in, especially in you don't know anyone.  Having not interned there, I almost dismissed the idea of even putting in my application.  Also, because I was still intent on moving back to the Central Arkansas area.  

As I was struggling with the idea of even applying for the position, my Mom told me "It's your job to open the doors, and God will close any He sees not fit".  So I applied, still not really expecting anything.

I heard from the Principal of the High School the very next week, and so started the series of interviews which eventually led to me being offered the job.

It's been amazing to see God's hand in all of this.  I can't take credit for anything, He orchestrated every single step of the entire process from me being hired, to finding the perfect living arrangements, to finding the perfect church and so on....  One of my best friends from the MAT program will even be teaching there next year with me!  It will be SO great having someone (who is also new) to bounce ideas off of.  Our PLC (Professional Learning Community) is full of the nicest people, and I think I'm going to love working in such a great environment!

In my wildest dreams I could have not imagined nor planned being in this position last year this time.  Although I am incredibly sad that I will still be at least 3 hours away from the rest of my family, I fully believe this is where God wants me for now.  Plus, I have a guest bedroom for anyone who wants to come visit!

I am so thankful that I have a job.  I fully understand the pressure and stress of searching for jobs in our economy, and do not take lightly the good fortune and blessing I have received in being offered a job this early in the game.  I pray daily for all my other teacher friends searching for their perfect fit and know that they will find their home away from home too!  

Reading List

I've slightly slowed down on my reading in order to dive into my Biology book so I can stay ahead of my students.  Here is what I'm currently reading, though, for two of my masters classes.

I'm beginning to create a classroom library, and am also previewing books that I might do a unit on next year for one of my sections.  Since I teach science, I'm looking into a large range of science books my students might find interesting.  This one has just enough real-life drama, blood, and guts to keep them entertained.

I'm reading this for my Multicultural class.  I don't know what it is, but I'm intrigued by Middle Eastern culture.  

Praise

My Grandma was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer last fall.  After enduring numerous surgeries and months of chemotherapy, we are so excited and relieved to say that she is cancer free!!!  God is so good!  She had her CT scan yesterday, and today the doctor told us he couldn't find a spot of cancer anywhere on her.  She will still have to do a couple more months of chemo, but we have such a renewed hope right now.  I know that God doesn't always guarantee healing from the pain and suffering that is of the world, so I've been anxious about the end result of this ordeal.  I'm so relieved now knowing that my Grandma is healthy again.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, but in January I applied for a Knowles Science Teaching Fellowship.  It is a national fellowship that offers professional development, as well as teaching stipends to it's recipients.  It's a long application process, and I was notified a couple of weeks ago that I'm a semi-finalist!  I had my phone interview yesterday, and now I'm waiting to see if I'm a finalist.  If I am, I will be traveling to Philadelphia, PA to complete the final interview process.  I'm glad that the phone interview is over, and now I know it's all in God's hands!

Different

Ever since I was little, I've always felt like I've lived for a bigger purpose.  I know that believing in God, you DO live for a bigger purpose, but this isn't what I'm talking about.  I truly feel that things affect me more deeply than they do others, and I feel that I'm supposed to make a difference in the world.  That it is my calling, no matter how small of a difference.

The same things don't make me happy that make others happy.  Materialistic things don't make me happy.  Sure, I have nice things, and I won't deny that I've been very blessed.  But, overall, those things don't make me happy.  In fact, a lot of times they make me feel embarrassed.  I HATE it when my students ask me where my clothes come from, or see what type of car I drive. I don't want them ever to think that they need these types of things in order to succeed in life.  To me, success isn't about how much money you make, what type of car you drive, or what neighborhood you live in.

 I have incredible friendships, and I'm very content in having a handful of close girlfriends.  I'm not the kind of girl that needs to walk into the restaurant and know everyone.  I also don't need to be surrounded by people at all times, in fact, I need alone time to survive.  Time to read, to think, to analyze.  To pray.

Relationships have never fulfilled me.  Yes, I love being in love (who doesn't), but I'm not the girl who can put everything I have into a man.  I just can't.  Men typically try to change me.  It's not their fault, but I think sometimes they think that I don't know what I want; if they just create another version of myself, then I'll be content with just being their girlfriend.    I do know what I want, know who I am... it's just hard to put into words sometimes.

I have this yearning, this longing to do big things, in my little corner of the world.

Ordinary events affect me much deeper than they do my friends, my acquaintances.  Compassion in one of my spiritual gifts, and sometimes I wish it wasn't .  Anytime I hear of anything sad or tragic, I'm completely broken.  It's like I'm going through the event myself.  I've cried, sobbed countless times for people I've never met, for situations, circumstances.  Anytime one of my friends deals with the loss of a loved one, a broken heart, or shattered dreams; it's as if my world stops.  I can't stop thinking of them, thinking of ways to help them, ways to lessen their load.

This is how I know that I'm different from most.

I've always had dreams for my future, but my dreams revolve around other people.  Doing something for someone, anyone.  Making a difference in a life.  Creating change.

This is why I decided to become a teacher, and it is the single most fulfilling job I could have chosen for myself.  Yet, even though I have arrived at the beginning of a lifelong profession of changing lives.  I am still not content.  I still see bigger, better things for me to do.  I want to truly make a difference, I want to impact lives, I want to travel and see the world through God's eyes.  See people as He sees them.  Love as He loves.

I've always felt guilty for not feeling the call towards overseas missions.  Yet, now I realize that I have perhaps the largest mission field.  I have 150 new students each year, whom, Lord willing, I can make a difference to.

So even though I'm not sure where I'm going, and often the ride is bumpy and sporadic; stained with sweat and tears.... come along for the ride.

Tests, TV, and Miss America

Cross your fingers that I passed both of my tests that I took yesterday!  The first one was the pedagogy.  We had to write a week's worth of lesson plans for a topic we were given, in an hour, plus write two assessments.  It's tough to write all of that in only 60 minutes.  My hand hurt so bad afterwards.  My topic was Nutrition and Digestion, and I think I did really well.  Let's hope, because I really don't want to have to do that again.

My Earth Science test is another story.   That stupid test is so hard.  It really was discouraging to me.  I studied so hard for it, and I wanted to walk out of there confident that I had passed.  I'm not sure if I passed or not though :(   But I know it's all in God's hands now.

Yesterday, I attended a watch party for Miss America at my friend Brittany's house.  It was so much we!  We had a blast cheering on Alyse, and we just KNEW she had it when she was down to the final 2.  We were so let down when she walked away 1st runner-up.  Still, though, 1st runner-up is the best Arkansas has ever done!  I can't believe the girl who won is only 17!  That's amazing!

After the watch party ended, I met up with some of my guy friends who were in town for the weekend.  We went out, and next thing I knew it was WAY too early in the morning.  We had a blast though, and that's all that matters.

I've been paying today for all the stress of the past week, and staying out so late last night.  I've felt horrible all day!  I slept in until 11 this morning, which is practically unheard of for me, and ever since I've just been relaxing on the couch catching up on all my Reality T.V :)  I figure that I deserve a lazy day though since I spent 7 hours testing yesterday!

Supposed To Be

Yesterday I was supposed to be hopping on a plane with my best friend.  Yesterday I was supposed to be heading to Vegas for my first time ever.  Yesterday I was supposed to be sitting at the final Prelim for Miss America.  Tomorrow I was supposed to be at Miss America.  Why you ask then, am I still here in Arkansas?

Well.... because I failed my Earth Science Praxis by one miserable little point.

Yes.  ONE POINT.

Ugh.....

I was in disgust when I saw it.  First of all, I've never failed anything in my life.  Second of all, because I knew that meant that my plans for Miss America were going to be postponed a year, because now I am having to spend 5 hrs tomorrow in a testing room instead of in a suite in Vegas.

But I DO hope that my best friend and amazing roomie has the time of her life in Vegas cheering on our friend and former fellow competitor, Alyse Eady, and hanging out with some of my most favorite people in the whole world.

And I'm going to pass that stinking test, dangit!

I love my job.

I asked one of my students what she did for Christmas break, she replied "I was arrested".  This is why I love my job.  Growing up in Suburbia did not prepare me for this.