You cannot learn to be happy with someone else, until you are at first happy being with yourself.

I guess my life lately could be summed up perfectly in a casual thought spoken by one of my friends that has stuck for a while...

"Who would have thought that here we would be, most of us married and you, Jennifer Bradley, single?"

She didn't mean any harm by it, just the honest truth.  I was always the girl who went from one long-term relationship to the next.  I had incredible meaningful relationships with some amazing guys from high school through college that helped shape me into the person I am today.  Alongside those relationships, I've always had a handful of guys who've I've always considered some of my closest friends.  

Being single, while the rest of my friends got married, honestly was a part of life I never thought I would experience.  It's not that the one thing I desired was to get married right away, I just honestly thought there would be no other option for me.  As a girl who was always in long-term relationships, it just seemed like the logical next step would be marriage when I graduated college.  

As I graduated college though, I knew that wouldn't be a possibility, and God had already planted seeds in my heart that would outgrow that teenage desire.  I won't act like it was easy, or still is, attending weddings alone, or being the third wheel at many dinners with my married friends.  Last year, was probably the hardest for that.  I began wondering what was wrong with me. Why wouldn't a guy choose me to marry, when all of my friends were clearly "chosen".  As I began to grow more and more frustrated, I slowly opened my heart and let my Savior speak.  As I listened I could hear Him saying, "I chose you."  I won't lie though, in those moments, He wasn't enough for me.  I wanted a relationship.  I wasn't happy being alone.

Somewhere along the way though, my heart slowly began to change.  I allowed God to work in me, and change my desires to His desires for my life.  He gave me a heavenly peace about where He has me in life.  He helped me to realize that while He chose marriage at this point in my friends lives, the plans He has for me require for me to remain single.  He also eased my worries and fears because He DID place in my heart a desire for marriage and at the perfect time He will bring into my life the one my heart was made for.  I can't explain the incredible relief I have in knowing my heavenly Father is taking care of everything, in not having to search.

I never thought I could ever be the girl who would say that I am perfectly content being single at this time in my life.  My fulfillment and contentedness comes from my job, my friends, my family, and God. At which the time comes that God does bring a man into my life, He will only add to it.... Not fill a hole.  Because I've let God fill that hole.

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